Work or National Service or restriction of freedom call it what every you like i like every other guy my age is in this place called the army.
I can't say that i hate where i am right now cause then i will be lying. granted the initial phase of my army life was tough and demanding and i had little to no freedom or time to myself at all i cant say that it was completely not beneficial to me at all...
However what i can say is that i am having more fun where i am now then i did during BMT or SCS. i find myself closer to the people here then with those i had shared a bunk with and trained with since April 2010.
so all in all i am quite glad that i got posted to this unit and met these people haha and i am quite happy that i will be spending the remaining 1 year of my NS life with these people.

moving away from army, previously i thought i had screwed up quite a  few of the friendships that were quite dear to me due to things i did and said, however now i can see that those friendships are slowly mending themselves. i know that things will never get back to the way they were before but i am will settle for putting the past behind us and moving on.

i cant say that i am happy or content with my life now even though things seem to be looking up now, cause of some stuff that is constantly bothering me now...

I cant seem to decide what to do!!
I know i dont really have to decide, i can just leave it be, but i want to decide.
i cant say i dont want this to be constantly on my mind cause i dont mind thinking about it constantly( sounds strange), its more like i dont want to leave it undecided and running through my mind...

i guess for now i have no choice but to leave it be... but i know i have to come to a decision sometime...
I just hope that sometime is soon.

Indecision is a fucked up feeling... it bothers you wherever you go... and in whatever you do.