< UNTOLD LIES
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
life's a bitch... get use to it...
nothing is ever fair, someone always has to lose out...
life is not a bed of roses, no one said it would be easy...
the quotes are endless, but it all talk about the same thing.. life...
seems like a very difficult life to live doesn't it... i couldn't but agree with that, BUT... yes there is always a BUT.... if that were the case then the world would not exist... But we do survive why???
well cause of hope...

this was supposed to be a happy post but if i continue it will turn emo so i am stopping now
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Hope is a dangerous thing....
it lifts you up,
and the higher you go the harder you fall...
it makes you do things that are stupid,
but seem like the best thing at that time...
its makes you cling to something,
when you know that something will hurt you...
it tears you up with what ifs...
it encourages rash behavior,
which worsens your situation...

But then the lack of hope removes all meaning from life...

But you must also know when to give up hope,
even if it seems something is feeding that hope...

Hope maybe what keeps us sane and living,
but too much will tear you up.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sometimes its best to know when to just give up...
Sometimes its best to know when enough is enough...
Sometimes its best to know when to save yourself...
Sometimes its best to know when to move on...
Sometimes its best to know that forgetting is easier if you never tried then it is if you tried and failed.

Maybe now is that sometime...

Today is the day
The worst day of my life
Sulk until it hurts me
I don't know why
The cost of misery
Is at an all time high
I keep it hidden
Close to the surface in sight

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
when I'm going down don't worry 'bout me
Don't try this at home
Pretend you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Could you be with him?
Or was it just a lie?
He doesn't GET you like I do
And you don't know why
You change your clothes and your hair
But I can't change your mind
Oh, I'm uninvited
So unrequieted now

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
when I'm going down don't worry 'bout me
Don't try this at home
Pretend you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Words screaming in my head
Why did you leave?
And I can't stop dreaming
Watching you and him
When it should have been
It should have been me

Today is the day
The worst day of my life

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
when I'm going down don't worry 'bout me
Don't try this at home
Pretend you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me)
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me
Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me

Learning to Fall - Boys Like Girls
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Negativity the mother of pain, the cause of all the worlds problems.... they all arise from the 'bad feelings' we harbor in ourselves.

I have never been one for negativity i seldom take things to heart even though it may look like that on the surface... but recently i have become the victim to the beast that is negativity... its consuming me, and making me think things i shouldnt, things that i know will only hinder me in doing what needs to be done... 

I'm a scared to try... afraid of the outcome... confused with the situation... contrary to what others tell me, my gut believes otherwise... despite what i think, my gut tells me i am going to get hurt.. my head is known for getting me into trouble... my heart is responsible for getting me hurt... my gut has seldom been wrong... so why is it so hard to trust it? why is it so hard to forget? why am i still holding on to that hope? is it cause the hope is still fueled? is it cause i am once again putting myself in a painful situation? why cant i follow my gut when i have already decided to??

Its become so hard to suppress it... my feelings... my thoughts... i use to be able to hide my feelings like a pro showing only what i wanted to world to see... i can still do it for other things... but i cant for this... why??? i find myself making rash decisions, decisions that will only increase the pain... why why why??? why is it so hard... 

i need to keep my feelings to myself... no i need to hide the feelings from myself like before.... let me be able to do that please...
Friday, April 03, 2009
I really dont know what to do about my life now... its like i am lost?
Nothing is going the way its supposed to...
Everything keeps screwing up...
Everything gets worst and worst....
I dont want to live anymore...
It hurts to much...
I am too scared to find out...
I am too scared to take that risk into a hopefully happy situation
I am too confused with life...
I dont want to be hurt again....
I dont want to be disappointed again...
I dont think i will be that greatly missed...
I have not exactly made a mark on people's lives