< UNTOLD LIES
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I went to universal studio yesterday, its quite a nice place to hand around and have fun with friends but its like super expensive and damn crowded...
The rides are not too bad i suppose but its like a 1min 15 ride and i had to wait like what 80mins just for that... 
on another note but not altogether unrelated, there are seriously a huge number of Filipino families all over the place! i am not being racist or anything, but its not like single filipinos hanging around singapore any more this is like whole families the mum the dad and the kinds and they are seriously everywhere, in town they make up like 1/10 of the people there... thats a freakishly large number of people...
I AM NOT TRYING TO BE RACIST, but why is this happening???
Not to mention that everytime you call the call centre a filipino answers the phone, i mean its so hard to understand what they are saying over the phone... i know they are hired cause its cheap and apparently (i dont know where this comes from nor do i think its true) they have the cleanest english!! who are you kidding seriously?

Ok this is getting way to racist... i should stop
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Work or National Service or restriction of freedom call it what every you like i like every other guy my age is in this place called the army.
I can't say that i hate where i am right now cause then i will be lying. granted the initial phase of my army life was tough and demanding and i had little to no freedom or time to myself at all i cant say that it was completely not beneficial to me at all...
However what i can say is that i am having more fun where i am now then i did during BMT or SCS. i find myself closer to the people here then with those i had shared a bunk with and trained with since April 2010.
so all in all i am quite glad that i got posted to this unit and met these people haha and i am quite happy that i will be spending the remaining 1 year of my NS life with these people.

moving away from army, previously i thought i had screwed up quite a  few of the friendships that were quite dear to me due to things i did and said, however now i can see that those friendships are slowly mending themselves. i know that things will never get back to the way they were before but i am will settle for putting the past behind us and moving on.

i cant say that i am happy or content with my life now even though things seem to be looking up now, cause of some stuff that is constantly bothering me now...

I cant seem to decide what to do!!
I know i dont really have to decide, i can just leave it be, but i want to decide.
i cant say i dont want this to be constantly on my mind cause i dont mind thinking about it constantly( sounds strange), its more like i dont want to leave it undecided and running through my mind...

i guess for now i have no choice but to leave it be... but i know i have to come to a decision sometime...
I just hope that sometime is soon.

Indecision is a fucked up feeling... it bothers you wherever you go... and in whatever you do.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I WANT TO BE A ROCKSTAR!!!!
To just be able to stand on a stage in front of large crowd singing along with your song.
but that is a dream that will never come true. haha an impossible dream...

anyway moving on from my random dream.

I think the last week has been a good week relatively at any rate.
I had quite a few setbacks and failures this week in many aspects of my life. I was so demoralised that I wanted to give up hope completely. I wanted to stop trying cause i didn't want to be disappointed yet again.

But then it occurred to me that if i didn't try again I would never know how things could turn out. How was I to know that the end result was not worth the amount of effort i put in.

I have been known to give up easily, to hesitate when it comes to decision time. I complain a lot when things don't turn out how I want to to turn out.

I think that now its time for a change, i am not going to be that guy anymore. I look around and i see people trying a lot harder then i am to get the things that they want and they just pick themselves up when they fail, when they are out down, when they are rejected. I have to learn from that, I cannot just give up when things get too tough or when i think that there are insurmountable obstacles in my way. I need to be able to preserve through all of it cause you will never know if something has great worth to you till you have fought for it.

So i am not giving up.... not until i am certain i will never be able to attain it.
THE ACADEMY IS... - ABOUT A GIRL
One song about a girl
I can't breathe when I'm around her
I'll wait here everyday
In case she'll scratch the surface
She'll never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl
Whoa!

Last night, I knew what to say
But you weren't there to hear it
These lines, so well rehearsed
Tongue tied and over-loaded
You'll never notice

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl
I'm not in love
This is not your song
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants
To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone...

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl

I'm not in love
(To be loved, to be loved, what more could you ask for?)
This is not your song
(To be loved, to be loved, everyone wants)
I'm not gonna waste these words
(To be loved, to be loved)
About a girl.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
i kind of am lost about what to do right now...
just a few weeks ago i thought i had things all going great...
i thought that things were looking up....
but recently it has proven to be not all that it seems to be....
i seem to be screwing up everything that i do...
and i seem to be finding out things i dont really want to know
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This week was meet ups galore!!
it was good to see old friends again, it really brings back memories of the days we spent together the laughter we shared and the stress we endured together.

It was also good to see how far we had all come in life, well in our case, how much we have changed.

It was nice to see that most of my friends have changed for the better,

This week also proved that if friends are really close, then they will remain close even if they dont see each other often,

granted, this week i hardly said much at all during the meet ups, it was nice just to watch friends talk to each other like they just saw each other in the morning.
it kind of showed me that though everything in life seems to be shifting and changing constantly, somethings dont change.



on the other hand, its kind of sad to see two people who are meant to be together not be together cause of whatever reason they have...
its so obvious to everyone else, and i bet its obvious to them to...
to me, any obstacle can be overcomed if you try to overcome it...

i am not making any sense....
its like i am typing for the sake of typing...
Saturday, February 12, 2011
When the world gets too complicated,
When things fail to turn out how we want them to turn out,
When we find out things that clear somethings up but leave us with more questions,
When the truth decides to slap us in the face,
When we are put down,
When people do not see the effort we put in,
When we lose something precious to us,
When the world seems too harsh to bear,
When we no longer have anyone to turn to,
When we feel like we are worth nothing,
When we are hurt,

We shut the rest of the world out.
We retreat to a place where we can be alone,
Where we feel nothing can hurt us more,

We want to be left alone,

And when we are done being alone,
We try to remain silent and distant,
We try to just let life go on around us,
We try to just absorb it all in,



the most common answer i give to the question "why you so emo?" is that i am tired,
Its not a lie,
Its the truth,
We are tired from it all,

And we are contented to just sit there and watch others laugh, talk, play,
And just soak in the happiness in the air.

just a random observation....
Why do people still ask the question "why you so emo?"
How are we supposed to answer that question??

Story
Thursday, February 03, 2011
The boy stood there in front of the girl his blueish grey eyes filled with sincerity. Holding her small hands in his, he reached up and wiped the tears gently away. He reached into his pocket and smiled showing it proudly to her. Wiping away her tears, she looked down at the grayish ring resting on his small palm. It was the ring, the one they had made out of some wire and a diamond they found the day they first met.

"Here! i want you to keep it!" the boy said softly.
"Why? We agreed that you should have it." came the girls quizzical response.
"So that you know i will always be around, even if everyone around you has to go, i will always be here!"

now fifteen years on, she had not heard from him for thirteen years, all she was left with was the ring and the memories.

Looking at the Diamond ring from Tiffany that was on her finger, she wondered if she was making the right decision.

They say your heart knows when you meet its other half, the only problem was she had no way to find him.